I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
