I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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