nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
two words...techno handjob
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
