I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
