Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
