Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize