i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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