he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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