Someone shit on the floor
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
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