First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
