Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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