I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
