Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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