I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
This beer is not sobering me up at all
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
