So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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