i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
