Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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