I want to stick my p in your. b.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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