He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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