The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
