I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize