That's intense
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
