We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize