Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
