i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
