he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I am available for nakedness
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize