i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
