I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize