Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
