We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize