These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
