Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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