Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
last night I used snow as a chaser
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