Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
