shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize