You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
