She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
