Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
