You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
