just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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