Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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