Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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