are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
