If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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