Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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