my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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