Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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