you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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