its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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