I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
