when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
