Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
