Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
