im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
