my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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