I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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