Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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