I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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