I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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