Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
