Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
